NEW EBOOK NOVEL
The Uncommentator: Story of the Day
MAYBE I SHOULD DIG A FOXHOLE
January, 2018--As a new year begins, I continue in my roles as sommelier, chauffeur, launderer, sous chef, handyman, scullery maid, IT consultant, wheelchair mechanic, book keeper, supply officer and general factotum. Thatís because Margery at 94 is not able to do all the things she used to do, although sheís still fun to be with. Iím only 91.
Consequently, I am busy almost all the time with tasks like buying groceries or replacing burned out light bulbs. We do have a house cleaner who vacuums every other week and an outdoor service that copes with the yard or driveway snow as the season warrants.
This is not to say I donít get out occasionally. I still take my bike to the woods. I recently replaced my 21-year-old minivan with one thatís only 11 years old. Cleaning out the old minivan was like an archeological dig. Besides tools, contents included: transformer (auto current to house current), poncho, electric tire pump, folding hand truck, flares, blanket, steel tow cable, various lengths of rope, jumper cables, fire extinguisher, portable floodlight, portable GPS unit, binoculars (but no partridge in a pear tree).
Why did I still have a CB radio? And why a World War II army-surplus entrenching tool? Did I expect to have to dig a foxhole? Well, the purpose of a minivan is to haul stuff, right?
The newer version (2006) has an insanely complicated dashboard that looks like the cockpit of an airliner. It was apparently designed for families with rambunctious children. Thereís a second rearview mirror that focuses on whatís going on in the interior behind the driverís back. And the side windows wonít open unless the driver pushes a button. That would prevent the children from throwing disliked shoes out the window (which actually happened to friends of ours, although not to us.)