Performance Review Review

A new book by management experts states its argument in the title: Get Rid of the Performance Review! How Companies Can Stop Intimidating, Start ManagingĖand Focus on What Really Matters. The authors note that employees and managers both hate performance reviews.

When I read about this in the newspaper, I wondered what it would have been like if I had ever faced a performance review. Although I have been self-employed for more that 40 years, I could imagine playing the roles both of manager and worker something like this:

Boss: Iíve noticed that you take a nap almost every afternoon. Youíre blatant about it. You get out a folding cot. Not many workers could get away with that.

Worker: Itís your fault. If you hadnít contracted to consult on that safety magazine, I wouldnít have known how healthy and refreshing it is to take an afternoon nap. I tried sleeping on the desk. That was rather uncomfortable, especially if I rolled over on your paperweight made from a petrified starfish.

Boss: I have to admit it was funny when the stitches in the cot gave out one day and your butt fell through onto the floor.

Worker: Youíll notice I immediately brought in a new cot. I didnít want to upset the office routine. And I figured we could afford a new cot every 20 years or so.

Boss: OK, but hereís another thing: you also never work at night. You always leave for home in time for dinner no matter what.

Worker: So do you.

Boss: Thatís enough performance review for now.

Richard Frisbie

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